Where Do We Go From Here?
by Saber Girls
Summary: The conversation the morning after Ashley's birthday party goes differently, and consequently, so does the rest of Scarlett's life.
1. Chapter 1

**Where Do We Go From Here? **

by Saber Girl Leia

1/14/06

Sum: The conversation the morning after Ashley's birthday goes differently, and consequently, so does the rest of Scarlett's story.

Disclaimer: Margaret Mitchell wrote _Gone with the Wind_, David O. Selznick and so many wonderful actors and crew made the movie. I read the book and saw the movie and wrote this, and that is all.

A few lines of dialogue in the very beginning of this is taken from the movie script. (Found online... hopefully dependable...)

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"I'd like to extend my apologies for my conduct of last night..."

Scarlett, hearing his voice again, felt like she was coming up from deep in the water, swimming back to reality... His voice... But what had he said!

"Oh, but Rhett..."

"I was very drunk and quite swept off my feet by your charms."

His voice was all wrong. He was supposed to hold her, kiss her! What had happened? What had she done wrong? Last night...

"Oh, don't Rhett. We both..." Scarlett blushed the color of her namesake. She patted the spot beside her. "Do come back to bed."

Rhett looked disgusted. _She sounds... like a whore, _he thought. _And it is because of me she sounds that way. But then again, asked if the whores or the ladies I have known were sillier, I might very well answer the ladies. _

He thought of the day and night before, of all aspects of it. "If I came back to bed you would only pretend I was that Ashley Wilkes!" he spat out the name like a poison, "I am not a fool, Scarlett!"

Scarlett, sat forward, upset and yearning to explain herself, but when she began he cut her off. "Scarlett, I've been thinking things over and I really believe it'd be better for both of us, if we admitted we made a mistake and got a divorce."

"Rhett, no!"

"It makes my head spin to think of how quickly you'd divorce me if Ashley were free."

"Please, let me explain!"

"I'll explain for you, Scarlett! You're a leech, a siren! I showed you something you had never known last night, and you think because of that you should stay with me and it will profit you!" His voice turned hard and seemed to form a solid wall between them. "You're a businesswoman, Scarlett. Not a wife."

How dare he? "You supported my mills! You supported me!"

"Yes, I poured my money into your ventures, and you stabbed me in the back! Half my money went straight to Mr. Ashley Wilkes, gentleman, whom you claim to love. You shrink at nothing, Sca-"

"_I don't love him!_"

Silence sprang up in the footsteps of her yell, and Scarlett hoped desperately that the sound had not traveled beyond her room, that the Mammy had not heard, that Bonnie had not heard... Scarlett stared at her husband, her eyes roving over his face, trying to read in it his reaction.

"You certainly did well at giving the appearance of it!" he finally spat out.

"I..." it was painful for Scarlett to admit defeat. It had been all her life. Finally, "I was wrong." She hung her head, her face red as the rouge she wasn't wearing. "I thought I loved him, but I never truly did. I realized that... yesterday."

Rhett sounded disgusted. "If what happened last night is all that love is to you, I could've found you some nice saloon to work in long ago." He had stopped yelling, but the acid in his voice now was worse. "Bonnie's the only good thing that's ever come of you."

"I didn't mean last night, you varmint! At the mill-"

He cut her off. "Oh! Did you finally realize your precious Ashley couldn't run a mill? Or did her deny you to his sisters? Was his embrace not good enough?"

_I hate you sometimes_, Scarlett thought, _how dare you_. "We spoke and I realized," as she spoke her words increased in both speech and volume so that he could not cut her off, "that he is completely different from me and though I shall always care for him as a brother, there is nothing more!" Without noticing it Scarlett had risen to her knees on the bed as she yelled, so that she was now right in Rhett's face.

He backed away. "Good, then. I shan't have to worry about you while Bonnie and I are in Europe."

"What?" Scarlett was genuinely shocked almost to the point of falling. "You can't leave me here, and you can't take my child out of this house!"

"I can and will, pet. You've never been a good mother to her-"

"It's you who takes her away from me!"

"Say I took you to England." Rhett's tone had changed again, and Scarlett could not place it. It sounded dangerous, but almost guarded. "What would happen to your mills then? Would Mr. Ashley and Mr. Gallegher really run them right?"

"They have before. During our honeymoon."

He did not reply, not with words.

"Let's do that again, Rhett. It was so fun and we both need to get away from Atlanta for a while-"

"Why should I take you anywhere? You choose to ruin your own reputation, that's fine. But our daughter's? Your other children had no chance because of you. You think I'm going to let you do that to Bonnie?"

She looked him in the eyes and spoke through gritted teeth. "You told me to hell with my reputation and I'd like life better without it."

"And was it true?" Rhett lit a cigar from his suit pocket and raised an eyebrow.

She didn't answer. "You think you're going to take Bonnie out of here without me, you'd better remember I fought off the Yankees and ran a farm and business. I won't back down and let you take her."

"Should we ask her?"

"Why- you-" Scarlett spluttered. Throwing her mussed nightgown straight, she stood up and faced him. "What you think gives you the right to do this, I swear I shall never know. How would you like it if I brought Melly into this? Do you want her to tell you how to treat your family?"

"Don't you dare bother Miss Melly with our petty quarrels." He grabbed her chin painfully. "You've always known who I am and how I act; you knew what you were getting into."

Scarlett made one last desperate attempt. She slipped almost effortlessly back into her role of belle. Her manner went from confrontational to coquettish in an instant. She patted the side of the bed and flashed a little smile. "Oh! We are so silly, Rhett! Do come back to bed, please."

He hated how she drew him in as she did all men. And yet was this not just one part of the woman Rhett had fallen in love with? Her chameleon's skill of playing a lady as she conquered armies.

Her lack of shame afterwards.

Rhett looked at her face for a long time. The false smile she turned on every person she had ever wanted anything of... but eyes that just might mean something more.

Unless he had imagined it.

He released her jaw sharply. "Not now, my dear, it's nearly ten. Call Mammy to help you dress." And he suddenly leaned forward and kissed her. Scarlett tried to continue it, to lure him back, but in vain. With a small shake of his head, Rhett continued, "I shall come back to bed tonight. But pack now, because we leave for Europe tomorrow, and we must not be late."

He turned on his heel and left. Scarlett shivered. Rhett could be devious and dangerous, too.

to be continued... 

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Please review! I LOVE constructive criticism. Any comments, questions, notes, suggestions, hate mail, love notes, messages in secret code... seriously, I'll read and respond to it all. And you will be in my book of cool people. :D I'd love a better title suggestion.


	2. Chapter 1, edited

Where Do We Go From Here?

by Saber Girl Leia

1/21/06

This is chapter two, but it begins with a rewrite of chapter one. Some has stayed the same, but some has changed after the suggestions I got in reviews. (Thanks again.) As for the leech line, remember that people do not always, especially in anger, say what is true. They say what they feel, or what they think will get to the one they are angry with.

Sum: The conversation the morning after Ashley's birthday goes differently, and consequently, so does the rest of Scarlett's story.

Disclaimer: Margaret Mitchell wrote _Gone with the Wind_, David O. Selznick and so many wonderful actors and crew made the movie. I read the book and saw the movie and wrote this, and that is all.

A few lines of dialogue in the very beginning of this is taken from the movie script. (Found online... hopefully dependable...)

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"I'd like to extend my apologies for my conduct of last night..."

Scarlett, hearing his voice again, felt like she was coming up from deep in the water, swimming back to reality... His voice... But what had he said!

"Oh, but Rhett..."

"I was very drunk and quite swept off my feet by your charms."

His voice was all wrong. He was supposed to hold her, kiss her! What had happened? What had she done wrong? Last night...

"Oh, don't Rhett. We both..." Scarlett blushed the color of her namesake. She patted the spot beside her. "Do come back to bed."

_What? _Rhett had not expected that, not anything of the sort. _She sounds... like a whore, _he thought. _And it is because of me she sounds that way. But then again, asked if the whores or the ladies I have known were sillier, I might very well answer the ladies. _Perhaps she really meant it... oh, to do as she said!

And yet... he thought of the day and night before, of all aspects of it. "If I came back to bed you would only pretend I was that Ashley Wilkes!" he spat out the name like a poison, "I am not a fool, Scarlett!"

Scarlett, sat forward, upset and yearning to explain herself, but she could not speak. Before she could muster her thoughts he began again. "Scarlett, I've been thinking things over and I really believe it'd be better for both of us, if we admitted we made a mistake and got a divorce."

"Rhett, no!"

"It makes my head spin to think of how quickly you'd divorce me if Ashley were free."

"Please, let me explain!"

"I'll explain for you, Scarlett! You're a leech, a siren! I showed you something you had never known last night, and you think because of that you should stay with me and it will profit you!" His voice turned hard and seemed to form a solid wall between them. "You're a businesswoman, Scarlett. Not a wife."

How dare he? "You supported my mills! You supported me!"

"Yes, I poured my money into your ventures, and you stabbed me in the back! Half my money went straight to Mr. Ashley Wilkes, gentleman, whom you claim to love. You shrink at nothing, Sca-"

"_I don't love him!_"

Silence sprang up in the footsteps of her yell, and Scarlett hoped desperately that the sound had not traveled beyond her room, that the Mammy had not heard, that Bonnie had not heard... Scarlett stared at her husband, her eyes roving over his face, trying to read in it his reaction.

"You certainly did well at giving the appearance of it."

"I..." it was painful for Scarlett to admit defeat. It had been all her life. Finally, "I was wrong." She hung her head, her face red as the rouge she wasn't wearing. "I thought I loved him, but I never truly did. I realized that... yesterday."

Rhett sounded disgusted. "If what happened last night is all that love is to you, I could've found you some nice saloon to work in long ago." He had stopped yelling, but the acid in his voice now was worse. "Bonnie's the only good thing that's ever come of you."

"I didn't mean last night, you varmint! At the mill-" It was very hard for her. "We spoke and I realized," that he is completely different from me and though I shall always care for him as a brother, there is nothing more!" Without noticing it Scarlett had risen to her knees on the bed as she yelled, so that she was now right in Rhett's face.

There was quiet for a moment. "Come to Europe with me."

"What?"

"There's nothing for us here. I'm taking Bonnie, whether or not you can tear yourself away from your mills to come with us. But," he reached out tentatively and toyed with her hair, "I'd like you to come, my dear. You will like Europe."

_And let my mills go to absolute ruin?_ she thought. "For how long?"

"However long we wish." This one, last ditch effort, _oh, let it work!_

"Yes," she said in a small voice that she tried to force bigger, "I will come."

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Please review! I LOVE constructive criticism. Any comments, questions, notes, suggestions, hate mail, love notes, messages in secret code... seriously, I'll read and respond to it all. And you will be in my book of cool people. :D


	3. Off to England The Real Chapter 2

Chapter Two (for real this time)

by Saber Girl Leia

1/22/06

Rhett studied Scarlett's face as they boarded the ship together, her arm on his. They had spent the night together, which was an improvement over most of their recent relationship, but... she had said she no longer loved Ashley Wilkes, but nowhere had any inkling of her loving him, Rhett Butler, come into the conversation.

It annoyed Rhett that he was putting so much weight on this. And yet he could not deny it to himself. He loved her, and it was desperately important to him that she love him back, but he did not know quite how to go about making her.

"Daddy!" Bonnie's gleeful shouts broke him from his reverie.

"What is it darling?"

The girl jumped and pointed to the sea. "Look at the big bird!" Rhett obligingly looked about at the gulls, and lifted his daughter for a better view.

Scarlett, meanwhile, seethed inwardly that Bonnie had called out only to Rhett, and showed no interest in showing her mother the same birds. Although she had never gone out of her way to care for Bonnie the way Rhett had, in her mind the girl owed her some love just the same.

Was Bonnie the way to Rhett then? To prove to him that she was not in love with Ashley, that she was fond of her family? Bonnie did not belong to Rhett alone, and she seemed to think she did, and for that alone Scarlett was determined to win her over.

Little Bonnie, of course, wanted everyone to watch the gulls she had spotted, and loved her father and her mother, and in fact the whole world with all her heart.

"They look like they're laughing at us," Scarlett commented, inserting herself into the conversation. The gulls, circling with beaks open, did indeed.

"Can I feed them?" Bonnie's hair was already disheveled as she jumped in the breeze.

"Later, darling," Rhett answered her, "After you're lunch you can feed them the scraps."

"That's not very ladylike," Scarlett said, trying to imagine her mother throwing scraps to gulls.

"I seem to remember telling you: I have no use for ladies." There was a twinkle in Rhett's eye, and it made Scarlett feel warm inside.

Mammy looked on, wondering exactly what was going on between the couple now.

Their cabin on the boat was spacious, a tribute to Rhett's millions. Bonnie, after a few moments of running about exploring the room, wanted to go back outside, and Rhett agreed to take her. Scarlett promised to rejoin them soon, but sank into the bed happily, glad for the moment, however brief, to loosen her stays. And to plan.

She contemplated talking to Mammy about it. But that would mean revealing all that had passed between Rhett and herself, and she quivered to think of the older woman's disapproving gaze upon her. It tended to make her feel about ten years old once again, and caught stealing sweets from the kitchen.

It did not cross Scarlett's mind to let things be for the moment. Life was little to her without a job to do, and far in distance from her mills and store, and not so far away in time from her infatuation with Ashley, she needed an objective.

Maybe she could tell Mammy without telling everything. "Mammy," Scarlett called, and she appeared from her own little room off of Scarlett's.

"Yes, Miss Scarlett?"

"Why do you suppose Bonnie spends all her time with Rhett? She never wants to play her little games with me, and I do care for her so."

Mammy thought of Wade and Ella, back at Tara for the time being. She recognized Scarlett's simple question as something more. "I reckon it has something to do with you being away at your mills all day," she ventured.

"It's not very ladylike of me, is it?" Scarlett sighed and chewed her bottom lip. There was definitely more to this conversation than she was revealing.

"Miss Ellen wouldn't have approved." Mammy waited for the girl on the bed to turn into a shrieking monster. But she did not. _Danger_, warned the alarms in Mammy's mind. Scarlett only did this when she wanted something badly.

"Oh, but Mammy, Mother would have understood that I needed to, don't you think?"

"Yes, Miss Scarlett." Pause, then louder, quickly, maybe with a hint of criticism, "But you don't need to now. Mister Rhett's got all the money you need."

Time for Scarlett to play her hand. "Yes... but Mammy,... I don't think he respects me as he should." She waited a moment, but a response was not forthcoming. "Neither does my Bonnie. He spoils her so." She paused again, to let it take effect. "Oh, Mammy, he told me you were one of the few people whose respect he really cared about. I think you should talk to him."

_Trouble_. "About caring for you? Only you can change how he feels about that. I think he likes you well."

"He's always with Bonnie. How am I ever supposed to be a mother to her if he's forever doing it for me?"

"Maybe he thinks you're playing at her father, running those mills." Mammy worried suddenly that she had gone too far. But to take it back now... better to see how Scarlett took it.

Scarlett glared, her voice becoming cold. "I won't give up my mills, if that's what you mean. Not he nor you nor anybody is going to make me be a fool."

Mammy thought of Ashley, always at the mill, and Scarlett going to see him, but she didn't dare broach _that_ topic, after the recent scandal. Her musings were interrupted by Scarlett, who spun around in front of her, doing a little dance to pull her loosened corset straight. "Do lace me back up. I'm off to the deck to see my child."

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Please review! I love constructive criticism. Any comments, questions, notes, suggestions, hate mail, love notes, messages in secret code... seriously, I'll read and respond to it all. And you will be in my book of cool people. :D


	4. 3: Tension and Release

Chapter Three

by Saber Girl Leia

2/25/06

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This chapter is dedicated to the awesomest woman (womyn:) ) ever (except when she's being a jerk and refusing to upload a document for me ;) ) Saber Girl AmiVaala, because when my computer refuses to obey me, she (after much prodding and bribery) uploads documents for me.

(PS, AmiDee, if you're reading this, your face is a strange custom.)

Mammy, watching the Butler family, noticed that this supper seemed the most relaxed the couple had shared in a long time. Was it the calm before the storm? With Scarlett's little performance this afternoon, Mammy could not help but worry. That child could be truly sweet, but she could be so hateful too, and that Ashley Wilkes, poor man, was miles away but all too likely near in memory.

Mammy often wondered if he ever had done anything to encourage Scarlett's foolish fancies, or if it truly had been entirely her fault. She had certainly behaved... questionably... towards men before.

But Rhett and Scarlett and Bonnie... their relationship was a puzzle, one that Mammy was at once both inexorably tied up in and unable to influence. And Melanie was not around to smooth everyone's frazzled nerves on this journey.

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"Bonnie's quite the little lady," Rhett commented over supper, wondering again just how long this mood of Scarlett's would hold, and what she was trying to accomplish with it.

"Yes, she is." Bonnie swung her feet happily under the table and nodded in agreement. A dribble of sauce slipped to her chin, and Scarlett's arm shot out with a napkin to wipe it before Rhett had the chance.

_That was too fast_, she thought. _Too unnatural_. Convincing men of things was an art, and one that Scarlett took more pride in than anything, excluding perhaps her business skills.

"I suppose she must take after a grandparent on that count," Rhett said. He could not help himself.

Scarlett nodded. "My mother."

Genuinely surprised that his wife had not reacted aggressively, Rhett patted Scarlett's hand on the table. "She takes after you in many ways, too, you know. Good ways."

"She has your eyes." Scarlett smiled. Dazzlingly.

Bonnie furrowed her little brow. She liked being complemented, but the grown-ups were acting silly again. "May I feed the birds, now?"

Scarlett pursed her lips for a second, annoyed at the interruption, then caught herself. "Yes, honey." Pause. "That is, if it's all right with your father?"

"Go ahead, Sweetie."

Bonnie jumped to the deck and ran a few feet away from the table, then bent until her hair dragged the floor and began to seriously and methodically place bread crumbs on the deck. Scarlett became aware, suddenly, of Rhett's hand holding her own. The awareness turned a calm moment into a tense one, and Scarlett mentally scolded herself while trying to hide her sudden change.

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, almost absentmindedly.

_What do I say?_ thought Rhett, tense himself, though better at hiding it, _When do I say it? _

Had he ever really told Scarlett that he loved her? He could not recall.

He knew that she had never said it to him.

_What is he thinking!_ Scarlett wondered, the thought growing in her brain until it pushed out all others. _What is he thinking!_ She clenched and unclenched her other hand, hidden in the folds of her white skirt.

"Why, isn't that a lovely sunset, Bonnie, dear?" Scarlett exclaimed, shattering the moment, and leaving Rhett to pull himself back in his composed, hidden, self.

"Yes, Mother. It's mighty pretty."

Rhett dropped Scarlett's hand to go to Bonnie, and a little pin of sadness poked the woman. She tried to brush it off, but unconsciously began to touch her hand as he had.

Rhett lifted Bonnie onto one shoulder and laughed at something she had said. Scarlett had not heard it; the wind had carried it away. She stepped to Rhett's other side and slipped an arm about his waist, hardly thinking her actions through.

His laugh stopped and his smile slipped, a little shocked and little unbelieving and a little mistrusting, but then he grinned and threw his arm around Scarlett's shoulders.

Mammy, passing behind them, thought that they made a pretty, and a proper, family portrait.

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The ship was small, and the only other first class passenger was to be picked up on a stop up North before the boat departed for Europe in earnest. Scarlett and Rhett had avoided the other passengers throughout the day, but Bonnie was curious, and friendly.

A small crowd had gathered on deck to watch the sunset, and Bonnie rocked back and forth on Rhett's shoulder, waving to the people. He removed his arm from around Scarlett and swung the child down. Scarlett stirred, coming back to the moment.

She began to straighten her dress and poof out her sleeves hurriedly, worried that Rhett would see her relaxed and think her vulnerable.

Bonnie tried to run off to greet a little boy in torn knickers who looked to be about her age, but Rhett grabbed her wrist.

"Daddy-"

"Hush, Bonnie, I'll let you go. I just want you to stay with Mammy." He called the older woman over. "Watch her."

Scarlett, eyeing the boy's scabby knees distastefully, started to object, but he waved her to silence. For once, she complied.

Mammy nodded, "Yes, Mr. Rhett," and followed the much faster child off, muttering about the things people expected her to do in her old age.

Rhett turned to Scarlett. It hit her that they were alone now, in their world. She had to tilt her neck back to look into his face, thanks to the large bonnet that adorned her.

"There's no one here to care about her reputation," Rhett offered, presumably as way of explanation for Bonnie's running about. He took Scarlett's hands. His eyes seemed to indicate something of how little their own reputations mattered to him, so long as it did not effect Bonnie.

"There's Mammy."

"You think she'll tell stories?" Rhett raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "About how we're just mules in horses' harnesses?"

"Why, I'd never sell any more lumber if people thought we were asses' children!"

She had meant it as an innocent joke, but he did not take it as one. The mood slipped, and though it was only for a moment, it was enough.

But Rhett was trying hard. After a moment, he moved one hand to her chin and pulled her close. "Forget the lumber mills." He kissed her.

Scarlett was thrilled by the breach of propriety, but... "I will not." She could not let him think that she would give up the-

No. She could most certainly let him think that... for now.

"Actually, Rhett..."

"Stop simpering." Suddenly he could have hit her. He nearly did.

But he held back, displaying only a glower and a firm hold on her chin. "You need a drink."

After a while, when Scarlett was turning tipsy but Rhett was still mostly sober, she kissed him back.

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So he drank, and they went back to the cabin.

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Review, review, review! You know the drill! Constructive criticism very much appreciated, as is for that matter anything at'll you have to say.


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